Marriage, Subhana-allah – What is it about this decreed union between man and woman that excites us so much. This love, caring, sharing and connection between a husband and wife is truly a barakat from Allah if acquired through halal means. Certainly we aren’t talking about the fornication and adultery paths that lead to this, but what Allah has sanctioned for his creation is of much benefit. The peace and tranquility that Allah Ta’Allah places between a husband and wife whose marriage is governed by the tenants of this Deen are the truly successful ones.
And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among your yourselves so that you may dwell in peace and tranquility with them. And He has ordained between you love and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for those who reflect. (Qur’an 30:21)
Do we ever reflect at all – are we of those who reflect on the bounties of Allah Ta’Allah. Imagine for one moment what has been offered to you both: For your entire lives your desires, thoughts and aspirations lay in your own perceived direction – then as if by some guided hand, introduced in your world is that being that you may not have ever considered would be your spouse “divinely decreed by Allah”. A relationship develops that consumes you with a new vigor and determination and ultimately “Insha-allah” you and that person are wedded. But what is most amazing – is that rights that open to both muslims at the point of the Nikkah. Five (5) mins prior to the Nikkah you could not touch your spouse, be alone with them, be intimate in anyway with them, and you still had to guard that lustful gaze. Its only a mercy from Allah Ta-Allah that on that very night, your Lord has made both of you Halal to each other in that one moment. You are now permitted to lawfully enjoy, indulge and satisfy each other – had you obtained this satisfaction through any other means than Nikkah then you would have been of the Adulterers and Fornicators.
Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead righteous. (Qur’an 25:74)
So many young Muslims are scared of getting married – the environment, culture, times, families and friends sometimes make this most beautiful of unions scary and difficult to fullfill. The norm to have a boyfriend or girlfriend is more inviting experience to young Muslims that the Sunnah of Nikkah. Today, we have patterned our social lifestyles on those morally handicapped and less fortunate icons in society. Marriage has now become the last resort after you have bathed in the unlawful desires of the opposite sex. The gift of marriage (Nikkah) has been substituted for the sin of zina (fornication & adultery. Zina is now guised with fancy words and descriptions; boyfriend and girlfriends, partners, lover, friend, fling, flirt, one night stand, “its just sex”… laa hawla wa laa quwwata illaa billaah – it gets worse dear brothers and sisters with all new invented paths to partake in this open rebellion against Allah.
Hadith – Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 4, Narrated ‘Abdullah: We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah’s Apostle said, “O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power.
May Allah perpetually keep those Husbands and Wives happy in pleasing him and each other. May Allah grant us the understanding to see our mistakes in ourselves and correct them so that we can be better husbands and wives. Ohh Allah, increase our patience reserves so that when we test each other we are able to overcome it and earn your pleasure. Ohh Allah grant us the wisdom to be silent in our partner’s shortcomings and the knowledge to correct their errors. Ameen!!!
Women are garments for men in as much as men are garments for women (Qur’an 2:187)
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